Title: Resurrection and Redemption
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek
Warnings: This story contains m/m relationship. If these things bother you *GO AWAY NOW*
Rating: R
Date: 01/18/02
Archive: DitB, RatB, SKSA, Fullhouseslash, Baldheaven. Anyone else just ask.
Website: http://www.oocities.org/peach1250/index.html
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner,
Krycek, Scully, Mulder, Doggett and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013
Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright Infringement is intended no money
is being made. Farscape is referred to in an offhand manner in this story, it
is owned Jim Henson Company, Nine Network Australia and Hallmark Entertainment
Summary: You can't always let sleeping dogs lie.
NOTES: Thanks to Josan as always. And this is dedicated to my new bud Rocky for letting me pick his
brain.
I'm not sure why I came here. It's been three years since I died. Three years since he killed me. Part of me has to know if he's really moving on with his life. I guess I need closure and if that means dying for real this time, so be it. I owe him that.
I mean, I know Mulder is off playing house with Scully and William. I know he knows that Skinner fucked me when I was still an agent. He made of point of telling me after he had that lovely little trip into everyone's mind courtesy of the ship.
What I don't know is if he ever told Skinner that *he* fucked me, too. See Mulder is straight. You know one of those men who refuses to admit anything else even when he has his cock down your throat or up your ass. But I think there is an outside chance he told Skinner, once he knew Skinner had been there too.
So here I stand, in front of the little house in the small town Skinner moved to when he retired. Trying to find the nerve to go and knock on the door. Suddenly there is no more need for nerve.
The door opens and he stands staring at me. The AD frown that used to send agents running for cover on his face. Neither of us says anything he just steps back and I move forward as if pulled by a puppeteer's strings.
And that's not far from wrong. I was drawn to him from the first time I saw him. He's always been a knight on a charger to me, even when I was trying to pull him down off that perch.
So, why did I fuck Mulder you ask? Because it was my assignment, to get close any way I could. Mulder likes conquest. Once he's had you a couple of times it's over. Scully is the only one he wanted more with.
That was fine with me because I wanted Skinner. I still do. Yeah, go figure.
I follow him silently to the kitchen, drop into the chair he pulls out and watch as he moves to the stove stirring something in a pot there. It smells heavenly and I remember that I didn't eat this morning or any of the times I stopped on the way.
He turns and looks at me like he thought I would disappear while he was checking his dinner.
"Want a beer?"
"Sure."
He opens the stainless steel fridge that I note absent-mindedly has no fingerprints on the door, some habits never die. Reaching inside, he grabs two bottles and twists the caps off before handing one to me.
He raises the bottle in a toast and I can't help but notice the sardonic twist to his lips. He takes a healthy swig and I do the same. Looking at the label I realize it's Carling and quickly bring it back to my mouth to hide the grin that wants to break out there.
I introduced him to this brand. The night he invited me to dinner and we ended up back at my place doing the nasty before our dinner had even been ordered. Even after all these years, I can taste *him* whenever I drink this beer.
My mind floats back for a moment and I remember us kissing and ripping at each other's clothes. Falling on the bed still kissing as I tried to turn to get him in my mouth. Finally succeeding and being shocked when it continued to grow.
Feeling a brief flare of fear before his deep voice reassured me that he wouldn't push me past what I was comfortable with. That same voice washing over me hours later as he fucked my ass for the first time. Telling me how hot and tight I was, telling me he loves a boy with a tight ass. Waking up to that voice the next morning as he fucked me again in the pre-dawn hours before he went home to change.
"Why are you here?"
"I thought you would ask how am I here, not why."
"I figured they probably had some sort of out for you. Especially when your body disappeared. I kept waiting for you to show up again. So, why now? I'm retired, Mulder and Scully are living the American dream, so what do you want?"
I raised my eyes and looked at him then. Really looked. The fringe of hair is all white now but that doesn't make him look old. The body looks to be as tight and hard as it was then. His hand holding the beer bottle was and is capable of giving such exquisite pleasure or such intense pain.
His eyes are hooded, cautious, nothing of the lust I once generated in them. Lust, yeah, in the beginning. But the last time I was in his bed, there was more. I died a little that day, knowing it would be the only time I ever saw love in someone's eyes.
His eyes are cataloguing me as well. I wonder how I'm faring. My hair has a lot of grey now, the beard, also shot through with grey, designed to help disguise who I am. But I've kept my body in shape, even if no one wants it any more.
"What do I want? I wish I knew. I guess I want to know if you are happy."
"Happy?" his snort would pass for amusement if I didn't know him so well. "For a man who spent a lot of time making me unhappy, that's a pretty strange question."
"Yeah, I guess it is. Well, thanks for the beer. I'd better get going, it's a long drive home."
"Where is home these days?"
He reached to take the empty bottle, tossed it into the trash, opened the fridge and got out two more bottles. The caps disposed of, one placed in front of me, and one at the place he had been sitting. Then he moved to the cabinet and pulled out two bowls. I watched, amazed, as he dished up the stew.
"Well, are you going to answer me or are you afraid I'll come to visit without calling?"
"I don't imagine you'd waste your time driving to the next state to see the likes of me."
"Next state in which direction? This state touches several others."
"I've got a place in South Carolina."
He placed the bowl in front of me and my stomach growled loudly to remind me how hungry I am. He turned quickly but not before I caught a glimpse of his grin. He moved to open the oven and I watched as the cornbread muffins were dumped into a napkin-lined basket.
He placed the cornbread between our two plates, plunked the butter down next to it. He took his seat and began eating.
"You can eat it, you know. I didn't have time to add poison to you dish."
"I'm sure you would rather strangle me than poison me."
I grabbed a muffin and crumbled it over my stew. He had cooked for me a few times when we had been lovers and I remember how good it all was. This didn't disappoint. When I tried to butter a second muffin, he reached without comment and did it for me.
I'm sure he saw the blush when I mumbled, "Thanks."
"No problem. Must be a few things that aren't as easy to do as they used to be."
"Yeah."
He let it drop and we ate in silence for several minutes. When we finished, he took our bowls over to the sink.
"Want some dessert? I don't have any of the ice cream you like. Wasn't expecting to see you in front of my house today."
"What do you have?"
"Cheesecake. I might have some chocolate syrup you can pour over it."
He walked to the other side of the kitchen and opened a pantry cabinet and started moving things around in it. I smiled when he grunted and held up a can of Hershey syrup.
"Must have bought this for when my brother's kids come to visit."
The slab of cheesecake is soon in front of me and he opens the can of syrup. After I pour a generous amount over my cheesecake I catch him grinning at me. This time he doesn't look away.
"How have you stayed so slim? If I ate like you do, I'd be as big as the side of the house."
"All those years of running, I guess. Plus I hate eating alone so I don't eat like this often."
The grin faded and we both once more focused on our food. I watch as he puts away the leftovers and cleans up the kitchen. His movements as smooth as I remember.
My heart breaks when I think of what I could have had with this man in a different reality. If I had been a better man.
+++++++++++++++++++++
When I got up this morning, I never expected to be eating dinner with Alex Krycek. Fuck, I never expected to see him again. Well, that isn't quite true. When his body disappeared, I thought he would show up again. But it's been three years. Three fucking years. Once I retired there was no reason for him to look me up.
He looks good. The beard is very sexy and he's still as thin as the first time I fucked him. I still remember that night as clearly as if it were yesterday. He exudes sex now just as he did then.
And, god help me, I still want him.
I don't for a minute buy his line about wanting to know if I'm happy. Well, I've delayed as long as I can. Time to find out why he is really here.
"Want to watch TV? I think there's a rerun of that series you used to like on the Sci-Fi channel."
"You mean the one with the sexy guy lost in the uncharted territories? Is it one of the ones where he wears that long leather coat?"
"The coat you wanted to have copied for me to wear?"
"You would have looked hot."
"Get real. I was a balding government employee not a space explorer."
"You don't have to be in space to look good in leather. Matter of fact, I fantasized about you in leathers a lot."
I stare at him a long moment until his eyes drop. Is it wishful thinking or did I see desire there?
"Come on, we'll check it out."
I lead the way toward the den and he asks for the bathroom. Pointing it out and the door to the den, I go in to turn on the TV. I settle on the end of the couch turned the way I sat with him all those years ago. He used to sit between my legs resting against my chest. I would hold him and allow my hands to roam. We didn't make it through many shows in those days.
I hear the toilet flush and the water in the sink. Then I watch as he comes to a dead stop in the doorway. He takes in the way I'm sitting and, for just a flash, I see the hunger in his eyes. I hold out my hand to him and wait.
++++++++++++++
This isn't going anything like I expected. First, he lets me in with only a frown. Then he feeds me. Now here he sits with his hand out waiting. I remember well the way I used to sit between his thighs, his strong arms holding me, his hands wandering, getting me hard and ready for him.
The puppeteer takes over again and I move forward, allowing him to pull me down onto the sofa with him. I hear the theme music for the show but the rest of the world might as well not exist. Every fibre of my body is focused on *him* and what he is going to do next.
The arms wrap around me and I relax back against his body. He just holds me. No roaming hands, no kisses on my neck. Just holding.
"Walter, what's going on?"
"I don't know, Alex. Why don't you tell me?"
"There's nothing to tell. I just needed to know how you are."
"Are you sure that's all it is, Alex? Tell me, was anything that happened back then real? Or was I just part of your duties?"
"It was real. They never told me to seduce you. It was Mulder I was supposed to get close to."
"And did you?"
He was still as he waited for my answer. Well, that answered one of my questions. Mulder hadn't told him. Now what do I do? Will he throw me out if I tell him the truth? Do I want to continue lying to this man?
"Yeah, I did."
"I always thought Mulder was straight."
"Mulder's what's known as 'low down'."
"What does that mean?"
"It means he considers himself to be straight even though he hits whatever is available. It only happened a couple of times. He gets bored easily."
"You must have been less creative with him than you were with me."
"I didn't want him, I wanted you."
"Wanted?"
Oh god, Walter, don't go there. Please don't go there unless I have a chance.
"Alex. Answer me. Please."
"Want! Ok? happy? You made me say it now you can throw me out and have your revenge. Or shoot me and bury me in the back yard. Fuck! Why did I do this? I shouldn't have come here."
I move then, trying to pull out of his arms, but they tighten around me holding me in place.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Anywhere but here."
One of his big hands slides up my chest to cup my face. I gasp as he turns my head and his eyes fill my world.
"The only place you are going is my bed, Alexei. I think you've deprived us both long enough."
+++++++++++
He stares at me and I watch as the emotions chase each other through his eyes. Doubt, followed by hope, then fear, ending with resignation. What the fuck?
I lower my mouth to his, learning his taste all over again. At first, he is unyielding then a little sigh whispers against my lips and he opens to me. I plunder his mouth, helping him to turn over in my arms. When he is chest to chest with me, I allow one hand to caress down his back and squeeze his ass gently.
I'm in no hurry. I've waited years to have him again. This time I won't let him go.
He pulls back but doesn't open his eyes.
"Please, Walter, don't make me want what you won't give to me. If you just want a fuck, say so. I'll give it to you but, please, don't make me think it is anything else if it isn't. Take your revenge some other way. Let me keep my good memories."
My breath catches in my throat. I watch as a single tear works its way free of his long lashes to roll slowly down his cheek.
"Sergei."
One word but a powerful one. The name only *he* was ever allowed to call me and only when we were together. His eyes open, searching mine. I smile at him the way I used to smile when we were first lovers. I wait for him to decide. I sit very still as he levers himself up. He stands next to the sofa and looks at me for a long time.
"Forgiven?"
"Yes, Alexei."
"Where's the bedroom, Sergei?"
+++++++++++++++++++++
Epilogue: June
"Delivery, will you sign here?"
I took the pen and signed on the page he was holding out. He took the clipboard back and handed me the rather large box. Looking at the label, I see it's addressed to Alex. He's been living with me for six months now and this is the first mail he's received.
"Alex." I yell toward the spare room we had turned into an office for him.
He wanders out, rolling his shoulders to get the kinks out. I hold the box out to him and he smiles.
"Good, it's here. Open it, Walter, it's a birthday gift for you."
I lead the way into the living room and sit down with the package on my lap.
"How did you know it's my birthday?"
He gives me that 'get real' look and I remind myself that he probably knows at what age I was toilet trained. I wish again I knew more about him. But in the last six months I have learned a lot. Bits and pieces keep slipping out. Always followed by fear that I will reject him for this latest revelation.
I work on opening the box as he fairly bounces on the chair he has perched on. Finally, I manage to open it and the smell of leather reaches me before I get the tissue paper moved aside.
It's a leather coat. I lift it out of the box and realize he has carried through on his threat. It's just like the one that guy Crichton in that show he likes wears.
"Well, put it on. I want to see how you look in it."
"Alex, it's June, for Christ sakes."
"So take off everything else."
I look at him and the sparkle in his eyes lets me know where this is going.
"It'll still be fucking hot."
Of course, I say this as I start taking off my clothes. Once naked I pull on the coat and it's obvious it was made for me. He must have paid a pretty penny for it.
"I'll turn up the air conditioner, because you aren't the only one who's hot."
He stands up then and walks slowly around me. His hand moving over the leather at strategic spots. By the time he is back in front of me, my cock is standing proud.
"Sergei, this is definitely a good look for you."
He backs away from me and quickly sheds his own clothing. Then he moves forward, his arm sliding around me under the coat as his body presses to mine.
"I think the power bill is gonna skyrocket over the next few days."
I growl deep in my throat, while grabbing his ass with both hands, pulling him as close as possible.
"Fuck the power bill."
Fin
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